Autumn Reflections

And so, once again, it’s autumn. Lovely, beautiful autumn bringing its annual gift of gorgeous foliage as the leaves reveal their hidden secrets of red, yellow and orange hues. A brilliant mantle of fall color descends upon the vineyards, transforming them into vast expanses of living tapestries which are a breathtaking sight. I never tire from seeing this year after year. It is a constant joy.

This is my favorite season of the four but its advent is always a bittersweet time for me. The start of fall is always on, a day before or after the day my mother died which was on September 21, 1995. She’s been gone from this world and my life for a decade. I’m past the dreadful, wrenching grief of the void her absence from this planet left in my heart, soul and very existence. Ah, but I miss her terribly. There is so much I wish to share with her. I miss her presence to offer me comfort; I miss that she is not just a phone call or a short drive away.

The Out Patient Department where I work is just like a doctor’s office within a private community. The confines of a doctor’s examining room can be the source of many emotions at the conclusion of a consultation. Joy, dismay, or utter relief are some that come readily to mind. Recently, such a consultation took place at my workplace involving a resident and three of her daughters. I knew this meeting with the doctor was to inform the resident and family of results from several tests which confirmed a prognosis of terminal illness with no hope of recovery.

Three of her daughters accompanied the resident into the examining room and before too long, one came rushing out and threw herself onto one of the chairs outside the room and dissolved into tears. We’re talking gut-wrenching, from the soul grief here. My desk was parallel to this chair and my heart achedfor this woman. There wasn’t much more to be done than to offer her a box of tissues, a brief, comforting hand on the back and an invitation to stay here as long as she wished.

God forgive me, the thought that bubbled up to the surface of my brain was how thankful I was to have this huge, impossible to imagine hurdle of losing one’s parents behind me. Been there, done that and good Lord! it’s sadder, more difficult and worse than you can possibly imagine. At least, it was for me. Large price to pay for the loss of fantastic parents. Were they worth it? Yes, you bet they were. If you are fortunate to still have your parents alive and well, enjoy time spent with them. Yes, life goes on after they’re gone, but with them also goes a major influential part of your life.

Happy Autumn, everyone. I hope the recent catastrophes of nature will ease up so we can focus on recovery for all the victims and move forward to better things in this new season.