Sunday, April 27, 2008

A Promotion

Well now, I got the job. My director called me into her office and proceeded to inform me she was very pleased to offer me the job for which I've been filling in for the past six months on a permanent basis. I was satisfied with the offer and accepted most graciously. This is a development I truly never anticipated nor sought. Our lives work in mysterious ways, don't they?

Since I got drop-kicked into this job a week before Halloween last year, it's been an uphill struggle all the way. I fought it tooth and nail, desperately wishing I could return to my "real" job. Days turned into weeks which melted into months and it began to dawn on me gradually that I wasn't hating this "new" job as much I thought. I came to the realization, albeit begrudgingly, that I rather liked it when things went well. I didn't want to go back to delivering medication to people, assisting them with showers and bathing when needed or running out to check phones off the hook. I liked when I was able to follow through on a doctor's order and be able to do so without always having to ask lots of "how to" questions of the outpatient nurse. I liked knowing I could help residents in, shall we say, more intellectual ways than helping them to wash!

Trying to fill the shoes of someone who's worked with a group of people for over 20 years and in this office for six, seven years or so seemed insurmountable. I'm a replacement for the job and not the person who ran things so efficiently for so long. It's my turn now to make this job my own, work out little systems that work for me and learn something more every day. My working life began in the secretarial field. After a 12 year hiatus from the working world, I returned to it and found a nice niche in the health-care business. Securing my present job brings my work experience full circle, connecting the two very different careers quite well. Every new day at work brings with it many problems. At this point I feel I'm up to the challenge of dealing with them.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008


I really must stop averring that I am "my own worst critic". Sheesh! Lately, I seem to be beating that phrase to death. Maybe I like the way it sounds; I don't know. It's become an annoying habit and I must stop it at once. Add that to the growing list of so many things I should and shouldn't be doing. Does this mindful list ever end? I'm going to be 55 years old this summer and I'm sorry to admit that I don't feel that I'm perfect...not yet. I suppose there's still hope; I'm young enough yet.

On the job front, I have my official interview this coming Thursday afternoon with my supervisor. I have to laugh. This strikes me as an unnecessary evil but one must bow to the bureaucracy of how things are done in a corporate setting. Alas, yes, this great place for seniors in which I work is, in the final analysis, a corporate business and run accordingly. Since my return to work, the job has been especially grueling but I discovered a few truths. When I made ready to depart on my last day, I thought to myself this would be a bit of a test for me and the residents. During my absence they'd think either "Whew, thank goodness she's gone" or "where's Meredith? Where has she gone?" I was pleased to discover that my absence was noticed and I was missed. In a community of 300 plus residents this counts for a lot.

I want this to be over and done with. Is she is or is she ain't....worth installing into this now open position on a permanent basis? I don't think it's so much that I'm dying to have this job but rather than I'd like to know it's mine and can move forward to fashion it to my way of doing things. We all have our own systems of doing things; I've been working under our receptionist's way of doing everything with the understanding that she would return. One does not rock this boat when in a temporary, albeit lasting for almost half a year, position. I want to move on, know that this job is mine and expand on this. Yes, I never cease to amaze myself which is why I'm one of my best fans. I see this as an excellent opportunity, an advancement and, at this point in my life, a quite wonderful come-full-circle position to enjoy and serve the older generation in such a way that will probably be the last job of my work-related life. I do so hope!! Oh please, Lord, don't let me end up having to be a "greeter" at Walmart or some such job in some other Godforsaken like place. I think I'd rather die. No, I don't think...I would. But, I digress. Such is my usual fashion, my normal state. Some things I cannot, will not change. Why? This is my journal and I don't have to.

We'll see what tomorrow brings, eh?

Saturday, April 5, 2008

A Break from Work & a Birthday

I mentioned I took some time off from work to give my daughter a hand following some surgery she had.  This break coincided with her birthday; a big one, her 30th.

Here we are on our most recent trip to Monterey Aquarium along with a friend,

She wasn't able to bend over to pick things up, couldn't lift anything more than 5 pounds and couldn't go up and down stairs or drive anywhere.  She lives on the upper level of a duplex and the washing machine and dryer are downstairs.  My job was to get there each morning to take my granddaughter to school, do at least one load of laundry a day, take the puppy they acquired just days before her surgery out to pee or whatever...constantly and pick up granddaughter from school in the afternoon.  I was willing and able to do anything else my daughter wanted or needed but it was never much.  Once my son-in-law came home from work, I was free to return to mine.

I know she was hurting and mighty uncomfortable but we had a marvelous time.  We talked a lot, watched many movies and just hung out with each other for four straight days.  It was wonderful.  I very much enjoyed the opportunity to spend her birthday with her.  Her brother and cousin stopped in separately during the day to drop off a gift.  Her daughter and I baked a birthday cake for her and all in all, it was a pretty mellow birthday.  Turns out her husband had a surprise party planned for her the following weekend and so she was ushered into the 30's quite nicely. 



An Amazing Turn of Events

I struggle through each day not unlike a salmon trying to fight its way upstream with no fish ladder.

I’m very resistant to change, I don’t multi-task and I hate the telephone.

I miss my job; the job I left my old one of almost ten years to learn. That was enough of a change, enough of a challenge. Sometimes I wonder how much my muddled, menopausal brain can stand.

Is our receptionist coming back? Her eventual return is the only thing that’s keeping me going.

"a job shift into one of greater responsibility and magnitude than I ever sought or wished to seek when I landed my "new" job about two and a half years ago"

The Lord works in mysterious ways. The world works in even more mysterious ways. And, damned, if that isnt true. I have a well established reputation in my family as "she who resists change", "she who hates change", "she who will NOT change". Alas, these facts have been all been too true. I will moan and groan and lament about how I can’t do this, I’ll never be able to do this, I don’t know how anyone can possibly do this. Flash forward to a few weeks and, suddenly, I can, am able and, apparently, it’s possible that I am doing this. This has been my personal MO ever since the experience of my first kiss to where I find myself at present. I think it’s because I’ve been a "pleaser" all my life and would rather die than fail to meet the challenge (even if it’s something I never sought in the first place). I never want to let people down; be it my parents, my family, my children, my employers, my co-workers, this list could go on ad nauseam and do you get my drift?? Chalk it up to a lifetime problem of not possessing enough self-confidence in myself and my ability. Lord knows, I’ve been given a million reasons to have plenty of this stuff from my family and extended friends. We are our own worst critics, aren’t we?

Several days ago, my supervisor informed me that the job Ive been filling in for the past five months was posted as "available". Oh! "Does this mean the absent for five months medical receptionist won’t be coming back?" "Well, she may come back to SLV but it won’t be to the Outpatient Department".

Dunt, dunt, dunn. Wow! My worst fear realized. Oh mercy, whatever will I do? Supervisor goes on to tell me the job will be posted as an internal job opening for one week...only because she has to do this. She can’t imagine anyone better suited for this position than...ME! WOW! Truth to tell, by this time I’ve come to the point where I find this job a whole lot more interesting and challenging and satisfying than my old job. Over the past five months, my brain-think has evolved from "I can’t wait until she comes back" to "she’ll be back one of these days" to "when she comes back, I’m going to be kind of bummed to have to return to my old job". What a turnaround.

The moment of truth had arrived. The defining moment, as it were. Would you believe that I got myself an application, filled it out and since I’ve been away from work this week, I dropped it into the mail box to arrive on my supervisor’s desk before I return to work? The die is cast, the deal is done. Unless someone else within the confines of where I work has had secret longings to be the medical receptionist of the Outpatient Department, I feel confident the job will soon be solely mine.

I used to tell my husband that I wouldn'tt do this job for the Crowned Jewels of England, for all themoney in the world, for all the tea in China, etc. Ah, what fools these mortals be that don’t realize their worth and are so clueless as to what lies ahead of them in their life. Thank goodness for that, eh? I’ll let you know what happens.