Three Decades and Then Some

 Do you inwardly groan at the words, "high school sweethearts" when reading a wedding anniversary notice in the newspaper?  Is "how boring!" the initial thought which comes to mind?  I sometimes think people perceive the lives of these particular couples as stagnant and unbeliveably dreary.  Don't you believe it!

This coming Wednesday, November 10, marks a very special day for my husband and me.  It was on this day, 35 years ago, we declared ourselves as a couple to the world.  The year was 1969 and this was in that long ago time when young people enamoured of each other went "steady".  The build-up to our decision to do so took all of seven days.  When I returned home after our second date, I very seriously informed my mother that "this was it!"  I don't think at that time I was entertaining the notion of a lifelong union but I was in seventh heaven at the time.

Of course, no one took our little romance too seriously.  My mother remarked that it was always nice to have a beau during the holiday season.  It didn't take too long for us to realize that this was indeed a relationship with much potential for a permanent basis.  Looking back, I have to admit that 16 is incredibly young to decide upon a future spouse.  My husband maintains he was certain I was "the one" from day one.  It's not easy and entails much risk to entrust your heart to another.  A great many people are unable or unwilling to do so but this is truly a case for the nothing ventured, nothing gained philosophy.  Never in a million years did I foresee finding my husband-to-be in our high school cafeteria.  It takes a brave and not just a little bit wise person to recognize what they have found and not go off looking for something that might be better, only to return to discover that "the one" didn't sit around waiting for you to decide.

There's much to be said for a relationship in which a couple grows up together; lots of common references and experiences to enjoy as the years zip by.  It's wonderful to be comfortable and at complete ease with each other.  However, you don't want to become as comfortable as an old shoe.  The day my husband calls me "Mother" and he's not making reference to me while talking to our kids is the day I'll know the bloom is off the romance and the honeymoon is indeed over.  We always say we never "work" at our marriage but it does take some effort to remain interesting, interested and unpredictable on the occasion.  The most important thing is not letting your marriage fall into little more than a realm of contentment.  You've both got to steer clear of lapsing into a comfortable union that more resembles a brother and sister cohabitation rather than a man and wife.  You do have to continue to court each other and treat each other as you did in the beginning of your romance.  My husband steadfastly swears by the fact that you must never lose your lust for each other and I think there's much truth and wisdom in this.  Alas, I think the opposite happens all too often.  So many couples stop making any kind of effort to keep the fires burning once they're married and have produced a child or two.

I have been incredibly lucky to have been blessed with a man whose love has only increased since we first met.  He is more than generous with his compliments, most affectionate and not at all reticent in his continuing declaration of love for me.  This both delights and amazes me that he should continue to feel this way after all these years.  And I?  I know I should tell my husband how very much I love him even more than I do.  If I had it to do all over again, I would once again choose him.  It's been a wondrous 35 years, a terrific ride.  Am I ready for the next 35?  Hell, yes!