Elusive Transcendence

Back in the early seventies a whole lot of people were into discovery of self, self-led psychoanalysis and the resurgence of searching for inner peace.  These were good paths to investigate and still are.  At this particular time, I believe we were all extremely war weary and ready for a measure of inner (if no other) peace. 

Many people turned to the use of various drugs as an instant shortcut to inner peace.  I suppose this method might've had some merit; I wouldn't know as my illicit drug use has been rather limited.  Some of us preferred a safer, more legal route to inner enlightenment of a non-religious sort.  One of the buzzwords of the day, or phrase actually, was Transcendental Meditation or simply TM.  This was a program founded by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.  By 1972 approximately 2,000 teachers were trained to bring the practice of TM to the world.

"Transcendental", an adjective, is defined in Funk & Wagnall's Standard Desk Dictionery as 1. of very high degree and 2. beyond or contrary to common sense or experience.

"Meditation", a noun, is defined (same source) as:  to engage in continuous and contemplative thought.

Therefore, TM literally means contemplating at length about something that defies common sense.  This interpretation is important to remember.  It seemed that just about everyone was delving into the world of TM.  Even the Beatles trekked off to India to check it out so, of course, that was worthy validation and we all know now how much they were all into it--not!

My fiance,ever the maverick, decided this was something we should investigate.  Why, to this day, I'm still not exactly sure but this kind of thing was right up his alley.  I didn't care one way or the other; if seeking out transcendence by learning this new path was something he wanted to pursue, who was I to deny him?  "Okay," said I, "Sure, let's".  I was really ready for total commitment here.  Yessiree.

Of course, he found a  name and address of a place where TM classes were being held.  We arrived at the appointed hour and I found myself sitting in some strange woman's living room among a group of eager, show-me-the-way types fairly itching to  begin.  The lights dimmed and my nostrils were immediately assailed with the intense odor of sandlewood incense.  Incense was very big in those days.  To this day, the scent of sandlewood whisks me right back to this experience.  I don't particularly care for it.  Incense and the scent of patchouli were everywhere back then but I digress.

We were instructed to relax and try to empty our minds.  Now, unfortunately, I suffer from a severe case of pragmatism, a deadly deterrent to any kind of meditation.  How on earth can I empty my mind of thought when it's full of the thought of trying to empty my mind?  It's nothing more than a vicious circle!  Night after night, I sat dutifully in the dark with my eyes closed, trying to empty my brain and slow down my breathing with the help of the general mantra (a word for focusing on relaxation) our teacher provided.  Night after night I thought, "who's kidding who"?  Not a damn thing was happening to me yet all the people around me were disappearing into their own self-induced calm place.  Oh yes, everyone's TM was coming along very nicely--except mine.  I felt like a character straight out of The Emperor's New Clothes.  Yes, like the little child who pointed out that the Emperor was indeed naked but no one in the realm chose to acknowledge that fact on pain of death.  Clearly, I was a failure.

One day it was announced that it was time for each of us to receive our own personal mantra.  Okay, this was at least something.  I didn't mind the thought of being given my very own secret, never-ever-tell-anyone word.  It would be, who knows, like the password to the secrets of life's success or something.  One could always hope.  We gathered at some new completely unknown place and stood in line awaiting our turn for a brief audience with the local Mahareshi Hey NonnyNonny or whatever his name was.  Who knew there was even one living in the county?  Truthfully, I don't recall his name but he looked sage-like enough standing there is his long flowing cotton robes.

Finally my turn came to go up and stand by this man.  He gave me a flower and whispered my "secret mantra" into my ear.  "What??!!", I wanted to shriek, "Is that it?"  Years of conditioned politeness kept me from doing this, of course, but really, my mantra stank!  I hated it!  It was a word I heard at least a hundred times a day and this was supposed to be the special word to help guide me into a world of inner serenity?  Didn't this guy have a clue that I needed all the help I could get and most definitely a much cooler word?  Apparently not.

From that point on, I gave up on the world of TM and considered myself the flunkie of the class.  My fiance, of course, became a successful graduate of TM and put it to good use at intermittent times in his life when needed.  He must've been good at it.  Once when he was donating blood, he decided to check into TM mode.  His breathing slowed to such a rate that the staff was ready to slap a set of cardio paddles on his chest to liven him back up.

In retrospect, some 30 years later, I know I was much too young to even try to attempt the lofty plane of TM.  My imagination and open-mindedness have come a long way since those days but it's still difficult for me to rise above and beyond that which is grounded and practical.  I am a pragmatist of the ultimate degree.  This can be an asset in life but it can also be a major stumbling block to trying to reach higher levels of thought and awareness. 

I have come to realize that many people in the world have benefited from learning and practicing transcendental meditation.  It helps one to relax, lowers blood pressure, relieves stress and more.  I mean no disrespect to these people.  Any practice that enables people to slow down from the frantic pace of today's life, take a few deep breaths and reflect is certainly not a bad thing.

At long last last, I discovered my own means of achieving these objectives.  I don't need a mantra or an exotic mentor or a preconceived formula to follow.  All I need to center myself and bring my life back into focus can be accomplished by visiting our special place at the Springs and submerging my naked self into beautiful, warm mineral water but that's another journal.

I've also since learned that the "secret" word to guide us to another plane is the password we choose to access our place in the internet domain!  It is this and more for me at any rate!